Diet Schmiet!

So I've been thinking a lot lately about food and portions. What a stressful subject. I know I eat right. I eat a lot of fruits and a good amount of veggies. I know that is the right thing for me. After the live foods I get a bit confused. How much protein do I really need? What's the right source of protein? What carbs and how much of it do I need? what are some good grain options? Ugh! It's a nightmare.

I'm also going back and forth about should I re-join Weight Watchers or not? I'm not too into the idea of joining Weight Watchers. While I was successful on the plan the weekly meetings and weigh in are a bit depressing. I don't care about the number on the scale. I care about how I feel in my clothes and how I look. I also have a hard time listening to other people's food problems. A lot of times it's not the same problems that I have and it's not helpful. I do enjoy talking about recipes or low fat options. But it's not worth the monthly fee and the stress of having to add something else to my calendar.

I am still into the idea of doing something that works for me. I want to learn how to eat right so that I can stay at a comfortable size. I've been thinking that I always set reasonable goals when I'm wanting to lose weight. Like I'll say I want to lose 25 pounds by next summer. Of course, I can do that but it's such a long term goal. I feel like I've set myself up for failure when I do that because I become bored and lose committed. I've been thinking that maybe it's time to shake things up for myself and really challenge myself. So I set a really hard goal. It's not impossible it's just very difficult. I'm not trying to lose an unhealthy amount per week.

I've decided that I'm going to try and lose XX pounds by Labor Day. I'm not going to say the number because it doesn't matter. I know what the number is but I won't type it. I'm not going to weigh myself either. I'm going to solely do it on measuring myself and seeing how my clothes fit. I'm a bit excited about this challenge. It's going to require a lot of working out and eating right. I will keep my readers posted on my results!

I am a garden

Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners; so that if we will plant nettles or sow lettuce, set hyssop and weed up thyme, supply it with one gender of herbs or distract it with many, either to have it sterile with idleness, or manured with industry -- why, the power and corrigible authority of this lies in our wills.

My boss saw this quote while visiting the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens recently. He said it made him think about me and my blog. Besides feeling warm and fuzzy that my boss thought of me it really got me thinking...

During my journey I've really come to recognize how our bodies are so fragile and responsive to our environment. Just like a tree, if you over water it it will drown. If you under water it it will dry out. Our bodies react the same way. Drink too much booze, you get sick. Eat too much you will mess with your digestion. Sleep too little and suffer all the next day. What you put into yourself you get back.

I've seen a huge improvement in my overall health since I started this journey. I used to eat way too much and my stomach would hurt. I used to feel very tired all the time. Now I feel alive and energetic (except when my PT has kicked my butt at the gym). I definitely feel like I'm reaping what I sow.

This journey has also taught me how to build my soul through personal health. This weekend I devoted my exercise activities to worthy charities. I ran in my first 10K for Kidneys and did the AIDS walk. The 10K race was extremely challenging. My strength and stamina were tested in a way I've never experienced. As I crossed the finish line I felt so much inspiration and emotion. I almost started to cry. I am going to attempt a different race each month.

The AIDS walk was a personal triumph as I was able to fulfill a dream. My uncle died of AIDS in 1987 and I always wanted to walk in his honor. The AIDS walk was another 10K but at a much slower pace. The kidney race took me 67 minutes but the AIDS walk took 3.5 hours to complete. I became very emotional at the race so to have that level of emotion sustain for that long period of time it was exhausting for me. Once it was over I felt like I really had accomplished something good.

Exercise has always been to me something I had to do to not be fat. Now it feels like a way to improve my overall wellbeing and do something good for my soul. Finding a way to channel your interests into something you dread definitely makes it all the more fun and interesting. I feel like the races are a great way for me to do that. I can't wait for my next one in June!

What's next?

Wednesday is the conclusion of my fantastic 12 pack of personal training sessions. I'm really excited about what I learned from it. It has been really amazing to learn how to train my body. I think I've been able to understand how to push myself and focusing on muscle groups. I also cannot afford more since I got a sweet deal the first time around.

What I need to do is up my cardio game. I've spent a lot of time weight lifting so I feel a lot stronger. I think I'll segregate my workouts into 4 days: 2 days cardio, 2 days weight training. I'm going to attempt to do 5 hours a week of exercise total.

I'm still training for the 10K which is about 2 weeks away. It should be interesting how that turns out. I think if I can do it in 90 minutes or less I will be happy. It's a lot of running. I've been training on the treadmill mostly. It's hard to gauge what my actual pace is on the treadmill. I think I can run faster on my own but I haven't gotten the motivation to take the running outside. I'll try and accomplish that soon!!

Also, I lost 8.75 inches all over my body in the last 5 weeks. I'm psyched!!

The fear of after

My fitness journey has been the same story over and over. Here it is in 7 sentences: Get motivated. Get fit. Eat Better. Lose Weight. Become complacent. Gain weight. Start again. I'm tired of this vicious cycle I keep putting myself through.

I am not afraid of the first four sentences of my story. That's the part I know how to do really well. What I don't know how to do is maintain (for life) the new journey I want to take on. Stay fit. Eat well. Look great always.

I'm good at being patient for results and on a plan. But once I get to a place that I'm happy with I lose touch with what I was trying to accomplish in the first place. It's hard. I know everyone says it's a lifestyle change and that you have to stay committed. It's not that easy.

When you focus on weight loss and getting into shape it's very easy to stay focused almost like tunnel vision. Once it's over and you have to adjust your tunnel vision. It's easy though to get wrapped up into your hard work and good looks. You think, "well I can play a bit now that I'm feeling better and looking great." That's where the danger comes in. And that's the part I fear. How does the transition from weight loss to life happen? I'm a ways from it but it feels like the big end post waiting for me out there. It's scary...

Starting to feel a difference!

So it's been a full month since I've been making these positive changes in my life and I'm feeling really good. I have to admit that I don't see any changes yet but that's not a bad thing. I have been taking my measurements for the last two weeks and I've lost over 5 inches all over. So there definitely is change but it's hard for me to visualize.

Overall, I'm really excited about where I'm heading with my goals. I worked out every day this week. I am planning on walking tomorrow and flying to FL on Sunday. I'm a bit scared that I'll lose some of my momentum when I get there. Florida tends to be about relaxation and being pampered. I need to remind myself that exercise must be part of my daily activity and that I need to follow my diet.

In terms of my diet, I'm feeling so much better. I have not had an upset stomach in weeks!! I got through the no booze challenge just fine. It wasn't that hard. I am glad that it was easy to go four weeks without any alcohol. It made me feel like I can do anything I set my mind to.

Things are really positive and Jason is super supportive of me. I'm a lucky lady. I just need to stay focused!

Let's get physical!

The last two weeks I've tried to uptick my physical fitness. I was going to classes a couple times of week but my workout buddy convinced me to get a personal trainer. Now I've never done this before and it's something I've always wanted to do. So I thought, "WHY NOT!?!?". It'll be a good early birthday present. I'm hoping that the PT sessions will be exactly what I need to kick my physically fit self into gear. I also signed up for my first 10K. I am starting a training program for that as well that will help me not die on the day of the race.

I really struggle because I was never an athletic type growing up. I always preferred to play with my dolls than play sports. I did sports in middle school but I didn't continue it year over year. When I started to care about being healthy is when I started exercising more. It's always been hard for me to find motivation to exercise consistently.

Two things about me that I've learned that will help me stay in gear:
1. I follow a plan well. If someone says, okay, we will meet at 7am on MWF to work out, I will be there, no DOUBT! If I'm left to my own devices to get there and do it myself chances are that it won't happen. I'll come up with every excuse in the book as to why I can't be there. Lame, I know but it's something I know about myself.
2. I respond well to goals. The best I've ever looked in my life was on my wedding day. I worked my butt off to look fantastic for my husband-to-be, photos, dress, etc. I knew I had a deadline for when I had to look great. I accomplished that goal. Once the wedding was over it was hard to stay focused and continue working on my physique. I kept telling myself that it was important to stay fit for when I have a baby. That it would help me get my body back after the baby was born. That goal didn't work b/c I really have no idea when I will have a baby. I wasn't having luck finding any other goals or timelines for myself. So what I'm doing now is focusing on smaller goals. So right now my goal is to complete the 10K training program.

I'm feeling completely tired from all the exercising but I know this is my bodies way of breaking down and getting back into shape. I'm looking forward to seeing the changes now! :)

Preventive Health/Medicine

It seems to me that science doesn't really care much about finding cures these days. We've put a man on the moon, we carry around tiny computers in our pockets (smart phones) and we have so many conveniences in our day to day life we barely have to do anything. What we don't have are cures to cancer, aids, MS, diabetes, etc...

To me, it's simple. Why develop cures for diseases that are multi-billion dollar industries? It's smarter for business to keep people sick then to cure them. The average yearly costs for a cancer patient range around $400K! If a cure was found and the drug companies could charge $50K a pop it still does not add up for them. It's really sad that big business control our health!

Now... I'm not a scientist nor do I know the complexities involved in finding cures but it seems a bit ridiculous to me. I'm shocked at the statistics and saddened. I know there are things like genes and actions that can cause the diseases but I'm also a strong supporter of preventive health or medicine.

Preventive health or medicine is done by us each day in many ways. Whenever you wash your hands after using the restroom that's preventive medicine. You are avoiding germs that can give you the common cold, infection, etc.

What most of us don't realize is that preventive health can be applied to our diet. Anytime you eat something your body processes the food and breaks it down into something usable. For every un-natural thing you digest the more you confuse your body. Products that you purchase in a package like cereal, cookies, fruit roll ups are food created in a lab. Your body is confused by these foods. Any "natural" or "healthy" items boasted by the packaging are no longer valid because they've been cooked out of them or pumped full of preservatives. Our bodies do not understand how to turn this food into quality life. Life meaning blood, hair, skin, tissue, etc.

The only foods are bodies know how to break down are natural, plant based foods. Fruits and vegetables are the cleansing foods that allow our bodies to perform at our optimal levels. Most people barely eat 1 full serving of fruit or vegetables of a day. Most people are ignorant to these facts. Our country has the highest statistics for obesity, osteoporosis and other awful diseases and I honestly believe it's due to our diet.

I encourage you to double your fresh food consumption. Its your way of helping your body cleanse and regenerate. You will benefit immediately from the change. This change has long term benefits that will keep your body healthy and strong.

I know for me personally I've seen a huge increase in my overall energy levels. I have increased my fresh food diet drastically.

Updated Goals

I realized yesterday as I re-read my blog posts that my goals have changed it. While I do want to be a fitter, healthier me, I don't want to spend my time focusing on a an actual weight. I am going to focus on looking better (my personal opinion of myself) and feeling comfortable in my clothes (not bulging out at the seams, ie muffin top).

One thing I've realized about this journey is that I need to spend my time understanding my body. I need to feel understand when I'm full, when I'm overindulging and look for the proof in the subtleties. Like are my clothes too tight or do I feel sick?

Your weight is just a number. It can be dependent on a lot of things and can change from day to day. When I used to weigh in every week at a Weight Watchers meeting I used to feel an emotional roller coaster. Like my whole personal opinion of myself is based on the number on the scale which is dumb. So if I was up .2 pounds that meant I was a failure or I failed that week. This is not reality. The gain may be from drinking too much water before weighing in or wearing heavy clothes.

I need to make sure that the changes I'm making are sustainable and making a difference in how I feel. I need to not make these changes because I'm worried about some number on a scale.

Back on track

SO it's taken me forever to post again. I didn't feel right posting when I wasn't doing anything positive. I've finally gotten a hold of myself and set up some positive changes for myself.

1. Buh-bye fake sugar: splenda and powdered creamer. Once a staple in my morning cup of Joe I have left it behind for a splash of soy milk. Soy milk is sweet as it is and it makes my coffee takes creamy and sweet without fake stuff. So I'm glad about that.
2. I read "Fit for life, not fat for life." Book changed my life and my diet. I'm focusing on a primarily raw food diet and taking natural enzymes whenever I eat something cooked. I feel fantastic. I started doing it since February 24th. I have tons of energy. I feel really positive. I've even got my hubby doing it too.
3. I got a workout buddy!! My friend, Carmen is eager to get fit too. So three times a week we shuffle our way to the gym and workout together. We're taking a bunch of classes including spin, cardio kickboxing, step and yoga. We started going together on March 1st. YAY!
4. Stop the boozing! I gave up drinking after Jason & I returned from NOLA. I officially stopped on March 1st and am challenging myself to four weeks without any alcohol. It hasn't been that difficult to be without it. I decided to do it because I drank so much in NOLA and was feeling a bit tired of it. I also did it because I feel like I'm in a lot of social settings where I'm offered alcohol and I just say yes without thinking if I really want it. I have to admit I can now tell when I really want a drink or I just do it b/c it's the "thing to do."

On a whole I'm feeling really positive and energetic. The changes I'm making are pretty big but they seem manageable. I've done other diets before and they've felt like band aids not solutions. I feel like what I'm doing it sustainable and exciting. I have to admit I haven't noticed any changes yet but I'm barely two weeks into it. I hope that at the end of this month there will be some change in the physical me. I definitely feel different and in control of my appetite, cravings and mood. It makes me feel like I'm starting to take care of myself in a way I haven't ever done.

New Year, New Feelings

Today I've been pondering how to get myself back in shape. I've deccided that I do not like my current gym nor do I like my old one. So my solution is to workout at home using wii fit, netflix ondemand videos, my iPhone yoga app and the good ole internet. The key now is making time to do it. So I've set up a date with myself at 5:30 today to do some exercise. I want to try and do 20-30 minutes today. Wish me luck...